Summer Sales

When I hear that my most beloved retailer has launched into it's annual mass sale it initiates a range of emotions; excitement, anticipation, lust, then on entering the realms of purchasable clothes those evolve into mild panic, frustration, fatigue, disappointment, empty glory, and eventually bitterness, for Zara is a label that never ceases to surprise me. It regularly produces such inspired pieces of quality and tailoring and yet at times churns out complete and utter duds.

The prospect of a sale brings with it the promise of picking up genuine gems at a fraction of their already reasonable price tag. From rummaging through an overflowing accessories box during their last sale I found one beautiful indigo suede leather wallet with gold zip from £75 cut to £15.99. It is one of those items that I am constantly asked where it came from, because not only are many Zara pieces so classic, but I love the way that their clothes and accessories don't lend themselves so unambiguously to advertising. It is always difficult to spot a typically 'Zara' outfit, unlike something from Topshop or New Look, which both have a style and branding akin to a Queen song - unmistakable.

However, I am uninspired. My last physical tour of the Knightsbridge branch opened up a very real world of sequinned blazers/mini-skirts/leggings, lurex bat-wing t-shirts, delicately gold-threaded scarves, chain-mail vests, gilt & silver embroidered waistcoats and boleros, lovingly embroidered lace and silk and chiffon, which, while I was spending my birthday gift card the woman next to me at the counter was buying most of. I'd, by this point, made my bed with my safe work-wardrobe additions, but I thought there was still hope come the exciting news of sale time. The problem I have today is the growing disappointment as I click around the still fresh UK website at their virtual sale with it's lack of sparkly things.

Next Time

Think 'Statement Piece'. Be BOLD or forever stay in the fashion shadows.

NB Matthew Williamson Sample Sale on TODAY

Fashion Festival Frenzy

Asos, the online fashion store, has just sent me June's edition of their monthly mag-cum-catalogue. Boasting a £1.75 price tag for non-regular customers - for whom it is free, and they apparently class me - for the first time in my knowledge, my expectations were high. I mean, as well as providing an outlet for designer labels they've got Emma Watson for People Tree on board.

I have spent the hours since receiving this scrap of a magazine flicking pages with equal derisiveness and gleeful ripping - cut out and keep, recycle the rest, that's the spirit. It got me thinking (as though I needed a prompt) of festivals; their etiquette, essentials, and imminence. As Asos itself had noted, June is just around the corner. Plus the cover has FESTIVAL scrawled across it in computer-lipstick. So, obviously, I was getting comfortable for some original festival-guru top 10's, photo montages, at least a candid of Kate Moss.

Alas it seems Asos is geared a little more for peoples across the pond. Mimicking most high-end fashion bibles it hails outfits that are entirely inappropriate and ugly. And to title an article 'Camping Chic' is frankly an insult to our(collective) intelligence. Anyone who has called a tent their home for more than 3 days in a row knows it cannot be glamorised. Even +chic.

Soooo, I am battling between utilising Glastonbury (Bestival is instantly disqualified from the fashion stakes because I shall most likely be wearing Unicorn) as a largely anonymous platform from which to launch my fashion conscious alter-ego, or, forgoing any new/loved clothing for simply last years wellies, bin bags, and, if I'm lucky, a poncho (never know, birthday's coming up). Because you get grubby at Glastonbury, tents get damp, it rains, there is dirt everywhere (remember where you ARE), the clothes you are wearing will probably touch poo where it's caked on toilet "seats"and on cubicle "walls" (words used figuratively), where you're sitting is 90% of the year home to cows...it sets in pretty quick. But you know this, hopefully. You're going because it's so good you don't care.

And it really is that good.

So why not dress a la Ms Moss? Glastonbury style has a history of being featured in publications from Look to Vogue, make a statement, have a festival wardrobe, no one and everyone cares. Considering this I have a tip and general festival essentials, including wardrobe suggestions...

Tip: Take a maximum of 3 tops, keep one fresh and dry for the journey home on Sunday/Monday, trust me you won't want any more.

Essentials:

• Dry Shampoo (NASA or Batiste) OR phone your hairdresser and get a crop a day or two before you leave for your festival and ask them for heavy styling - it'll last a week without help!

• The wet stuff - Bin Bags, waterproof or poncho although you can pick up one for a pound at the site, Wellies.
• Wet wipes, razor, deodorant, toothpaste & brush.
• Communications - You could limit your phone useage and keep your fingers crossed, get walkie-talkies, or invest in a portable charger/spare battery.
• Jumping on the Bum Bag bandwagon this year - less cumbersome & encourage more upper body mobility...in this bag should be; toilet roll, hand sanitiser, disposable camera, money (you can't live off breadsticks. I tried. They mutate from stick to dust between the entrance and the camp site.), lighter. The first four are ESSENTIALS. I cannot stress that enough.
• Cider - as many plastic litre bottles of it as you can carry, and a cool bag to keep them in your tent in if you're extra prepared.
• Sun cream - put this on before you leave your tent, saves carrying it around and you're protected just in case.

And for the essential wear (imagine for a moment I moonlight as a sinister writer of advertorials...)

• Face - Sunnies.
• Neck - festival pass lanyard and some lengthy bling.
• Top - This layered over this.
• Leggings (H&M do a great pair with zips in light blue or grey jegging-style) and/or denim shorts of your choice.
• Feets - see above for aforementioned necessary wellies, but keep a pair of favoured flip-flops or gladiator sandals to hand, the sun can turn a mud pit to hardened terrain like you wouldn't believe.

That is my Glastonbury guide, from essentials to an outfit akin to what I would wear, have worn, and will wear in a few weeks time to the best festival around. Come sleet or shine I intend to enjoy every minute. Kuurch. Meet you in Avalon. Over and out.

I Don't Know Sylvia

No matter which way you shoot these shorts there is something not quite normal about them.

If I were to suggest Topshop jump on the bandwagon of other indie retailers and start naming their products I would expect this garment to be named Sylvia. Something about the butterflies, soft inky print, feminine pleating, and off white-ness remind me of heroine of 80's rom-com '3 men and a baby'...Sylvia.

Try as I might to justify their purchase, and love them as I do, I am still somewhat wary of them. I don't think they will be faithful to me as you hope a statement buy would. They should caress my thighs in a way that coos "I will compliment any top you wear me with, give the illusion of long legs, accentuate your figure, and be the envy of all run of the mill a-line skirts". Except they don't quite.

What they do do is make me feel the excitement of dressing up clothes, that if I wore them to bed I would be pyjama chic, that if this were the 80's I would wear them with a wide brimmed hat and baggy vest on the beach perhaps. But I was born in the 80's, and I am not fearless.

Damn that 13 year old's cool

When you almost fastidiously follow a young teens fashion trajectory rather than the pages of Vogue or Topshop Billboards. When the image of the women on your t-shirt is prettier than you are. When your tan begins to fade back into your white triangles like they never were, you have to focus on something positive in your life...

...Like a confirmation booking of a Hot Air Balloon Flight in the early evening of a spring day.